IT'S A GIRL!

Today we had the ultrasound and found out that we are having a girl.

Merry Christmas

A Christmas wish for joy that lasts throughout the coming year. Merry Christmas to all of you and a happy New Year!

Christmas Letter

Back into the swing of things

I need to get back into the swing of things and start posting again. I avoid getting on the computer too much because it is so slow. I will be getting a new one for Christmas. I am excited about that.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I enjoyed the food and seeing the family. Everyone was very excited to hear the good news.

I go to see the doctor Decemeber 29th and we will find out if the baby is a boy or a girl. Aaron and I are so excited. Thank you Lord for giving us this blessing. I can't thank him enough for this. I also want to thank everyone for all the prayers for our family.

The Announcement

It has been awhile ago since I talked about my infertility. The last thing I told you that we had 2 embryo's placed inside me by invitro and I lost both of them. We had to go and met the doctor to discuss the failed procedure.

The doctor said if he was betting on this one he would have lost. He said that one of them that was placed was really good the other one not so good but at least he thought we would have one baby. So now the doctor needed to figure out what to do next since the only thing that could have happened was the embryo's didn't attach.

The next step the doctor wanted to do was to put me on a drug called Lupron. Lupron is used in women to treat symptoms of endometriosis (overgrowth of uterine lining outside of the uterus)Leuprolide (Lupron) overstimulates the body's own production of certain hormones, which causes that production to shut down temporarily. This medication is a injection given by the doctor's office once a month. I took this for the next 3 months.

After 3 months I met with the doctor and he said it was up to us what we wanted to do. Due to finaces we said we would try one more artificial insemenation and if that didn't work we had no choice but to give up.

Here was my schedule for the artificial insemenation.
Started taking medication for IUI on August 26, 2009. artificial insemination done September 5, 2009.
Scheduled for pregnancy test on September 18, 2009. Did not go. Took my temperature on Friday September 18th 98.10
temperature September 19th 97.6
temperature September 20th 98.53 took over the counter pregnancy test was positive
temperature September 21st 98.10 called dr. office.
temperature September 22nd 98.09 blood draw done at dr office positive My HCG was 900 they were looking for at least 100. So that is great
temperature September 23rd 98.68
September 24th another blood draw at dr. office They wanted my HCG level to double from the 900 it was 2311 and my estrogen was 157. Everything is great. I am 4 weeks and 4 days.

So now you know that by the grace of God. He has blessed Aaron and I with a baby. I am due May 28, 2010.

Good Afternoon Followers!

I have been lacking on my post lately. I apology for that. I did want to thank the new followers to my website. Thank you all for your support. I hope that you enjoy my site.

I also have not been making too many comments on my fellow bloggers and want to say sorry for that. I enjoy reading all of your blogs and I do read them every time there is an update I am just not good at making comments but my goal is to get better at doing that.

Deer Season

Last Saturday was the first day of Deer Season. Aaron was up and ready to go 5:00 am in the morning on Saturday. He was in the woods by 6:00 am and stayed until it was dark. Sunday came and he was back out in the woods again by 6:00 am. In the afternoon he got his 8 pointer buck (which an 8 pointer for Indiana is good). Aaron took the deer to the butcher on Monday and now we are set for a long time on deer meat. Unfortunately I am not a deer eater. I can eat it as a roast and I have had steaks on the grill but I just can’t make it my main supply of beef. I know that eating deer is so much healthier than all that processed meat you buy in the store but I just can’t get past that it is a deer.

Good job Aaron getting your deer this year!!

Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

There was a man who had four sons.
He wanted his sons to learn not to Judge things too quickly.
She he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, second in the spring, third in the summer and the youngest in the fall.
When they had all gone and returned, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent and twisted. The second son said it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen only one season in the trees life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season. That the essence of who they are, and the pleasure, joy and love that come from that life, can only be measured at the end, when all season are up.

Happy Anniversary

Aaron and I had our 3 wedding anniversary yesterday and today I turn a day older and little wiser. Probably not any wiser but I would like to think so.

Top Four Things You Should Never Say To a Woman/Couple Going Through Infertility by Stephanie Baffone

Sadly, I know of what I speak. As a woman who braved the rough seas of infertility (ultimately treatment was unsuccessful) and as a therapist who supports those navigating them, I provide the following testimony.

Notwithstanding people’s benevolence the subsequent attempts at encouragement should be avoided at all costs because like it or not they feel like admonitions.

Drum roll please…I feel a little like David Letterman!

1. Relax
Ok, seriously? Relax? Yes, you could write to share with me all the scientific evidence that purports relaxation is a successful therapeutic adjunct, not just for infertility but for a multitude of ailments. I do not dispute that. I meditate myself and teach it to my clients. However, oodles of people with excitable personalities conceive without difficulty. When people say this to us the implication is blame. Rest assured, those of us struggling with infertility can handle the critical self-talk singularly. Please say this at your own risk 

2. “Why don’t you just adopt?”
In no way do I mean to disparage adoption. It is a miraculous option for many families and children. But when you say this to us, it can feel invalidating. It comes across as though the idea of adoption is and should be a panacea for the natural desire to conceive, carry and birth biological children. Apart from having the very real potential to be equally disappointing, it is not an easy process (I know this from working on the front lines of an adoption agency). I acknowledge this is in most cases an attempt to offer a solution to a friend or family member for whom you feel helpless. For that much, we are grateful. May I offer an alternative? Simply say “I feel helpless, I am sorry you are experiencing this struggle.”

3. You guys are trying too hard.
I’ve heard this, my clients have heard this. Generally this one goes along with “relax.” Again, better to just say you are sorry we are having a hard time.

4. My friends did IVF and it worked for them. Why don’t you just do IVF until it works?IVF is expensive, not without risk and depending on a host of factors can have a less than stellar success rate. I see in my practice couples who took second mortgages out on their homes with no luck. Success stories spread like wildfire but the failed attempts don’t typically make the spotlight. In my experience, there is a myth perpetuated that the success rate of IVF is proportionate to the number of attempts. Sadly, the success rates become dismal the more times you have to try it.

I beg your indulgence with my snarky post. I recognize having to sit on the sidelines and watch a friend or family member go through the morass of infertility can render one helpless. When a sense of powerlessness consumes us, the tendency is to dig deep in our repertoire of support statements and offer a solution. While we appreciate your sincerity, sticking with the old standard, “I’m so sorry. This must be terrible” is fail proof.

Infertility is a loss that needs to be grieved and mourned. Most other circumstances of loss bring casseroles not criticism. It would be terrific if others started to extend those same courtesies to the infertile. We already feel broken enough on own our own. We’d prefer if you helped glue us back together, not kick us while we’re down.

Stephanie Baffone, LPCMH, NCC is a therapist and writer in private practice. She is working on a memoir, “Doris, Sophia and Me: A Memoir About A Mother Who Didn’t Live Long Enough and A Daughter Who Was Never Born.” She loves having visitors at her blog Stephanie’s Stories.

Guest Post

I would like to introduce everyone to Stephanie Baffone, LPCMH, NCC is a therapist and writer in private practice. She is working on a memoir, “Doris, Sophia and Me: A Memoir About A Mother Who Didn’t Live Long Enough and A Daughter Who Was Never Born.” She loves having visitors at her blog Stephanie’s Stories.

Stephanie is writing a guest post for me and I am really excited about it. I met her through my blog and the thing that we both have in common going through infertility. I am grateful to have met her and hope everyone enjoys her post as much as I did.

Thank you Stephanie!

Sadie

Sadie (our dog) is a character. She keeps us entertained. Aaron has been doing some painting at his rental properties and no matter what area Aaron paints it seems to be the exact spot that Sadie wants to slid down the wall to take a nap. Needless to say she is covered with paint. Maybe she wants to be a skunk or something and wants that white strip down her black coat. She also likes to roll in anything that smells bad. When she is done rolling in it she comes to you and looks so proud. She is saying don't I smell good. I am such a good girl!!
I also have to tell you the story when Aaron was priming our deck and when he was all finished he was cleaning up his supplies and Sadie walked up the steps went across the deck and lied down. She was so happy just lying in the sun and feeling the cool breeze while she is lying in primer. She had paint on all her paws, the paint completely covered her belly.

Thank you Sadie for keeping us laughing everyday! We love you!

The flat tire

It was dark around 38 degrees outside and pouring rain. I pulled out of the driveway and noticed that something was wrong my car wasn't driving correctly. I got to a lit area and found out that my tire was flat. I drove a little further to get to the gas station. I pulled up to air my tire up and seen my tire in the well lit gas station. I managed to completely destroy my tire. I am very lucky that I didn't damage the rim but now here I am at the gas station and it is cold and pouring down rain. I had to walk home from the gas station because my tire was so bad. I am lucky that the gas station isn't that far but it really wasn't what I had in mind that day.

I started to call around trying to find a place that I could buy a tire from so I could continue my day but it wasn't that easy. I could not find a tire for my car anywhere. I ended up having to order the tires and it takes 2 days for deliver. So now I am down to one day lost because of my tire and now I am looking at another day lost because I need to have my tires installed. Needless to say last week was a week I would like to forget about. I guess you can say it wasn't my week. Everything is good now but I just hate wasting my days and others due to one tire. Hope your week was better than mine and I hope this week is better for me than last.

The goldfish in our backyard pond

This is a nice relaxing video of our small pond in the backyard. We have 5 goldfish that have really gotten big.

You don't know what hard work is until your a mom

The title was of a bumper sticker someone seen and I wanted to address it.

I don't want to take away from this because I am 120% sure there is hard work being a mom. I just want you to see the other side. Those who want to be mom's and are not. It takes a lot of hard work going through infertility. You have to work hard to save the money needed to go to the specialist. You spend all your time eating the right stuff, trying every wives tail to make it work, researching everything you can about all the different medications and procedures, all the success stories hoping you will be the next success story. Then after all the medications and procedures you try and are unsuccessful you go through a grieving process each time. I think about all the procedures and all the medications and all the time spent the hardest part is when that pregnancy test is negative. I don't think you can ever get over that feeling. Month after month feeling the loss of a baby.

I am so happy for those of you who become moms and I know you have been through a lot during pregnancy and all the work you have done through their childhood. I just don't want anyone to forget the one's who are going through infertility.

Good rule of thumb stop behind the white line at at red light!

Yesterday was just another typical day driving home from work. I am driving toward the next stop light that just turned red. I am slowing down to stop but I don’t know what was going on with my judgment of distance. Here I am slowing down getting towards the red light and I am about to stop and realize I am in the middle of the street. What the heck was I doing I am sure what the other drivers behind me were thinking. I ended up just driving through the red light but what a relief that I picked the light that there is hardly ever any traffic coming the other way. I was so embarrassed imaging the drivers behind me wondering what was that “woman driver” doing? Everything turned out ok but luck was on my side.

Have you ever went to the grocery store and never found the item that you needed?

I went to the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to make egg rolls. I don’t buy the premade egg rolls because they have MSG in them. I bought everything I needed to go inside the roll. Then the problem started. I searched for 20 minutes to find the wrap to put over the stuffing. It was no where to be found. So I got very frustrated and went ahead and checked out.

I asked around to find out if any of my friends could tell me where they would look for the wrapper and this past weekend I went back to the grocery store to find those egg roll wraps. Unfortunately still no where to be found. I went and ask a store worker, they sent me to all the spots I already looked. I ended up going to 2 more stores with no luck. I ended up making egg roll stuffing since I have no idea where to find the wrapper. It was really good but I really wish I could figure out how to locate the wrapper.

This is not the first time that I have spent an extra 20 minutes trying to find something in the store. This is my idea of how I think the problem could be solved.

I want to have a computer at the front of the grocery store where you can go and type in the item you are looking for and then the computer can tell you if they have it or tell you what isle to look in. The signs in the store aren’t enough help. I also think that it would be great if you could pull up your grocery store on-line, type your items that you will be shopping for at the store and it will sort it for you by which isle it is in. Anyway, this is my perfect plan to find those egg rolls!

I thought doing IUI was a difficult process but I hadn’t done invitro yet. IUI is a piece of cake compared to invitro. As you can see by the examples below of the prescription first one of an IUI and the 2nd one is invitro.



The first step in the process of invitro is you and your partner has to have blood drawn to test for HIV, Hept B, Hept C and to find out your blood type. We went to the hospital to have this done and come to find out this was something that insurance does not pay for. So here is another example of doing more research before you have this done. The reason I am saying this is because my fertility doctor’s office had a reduced payment for those that insurance will not cover. The savings would have been for me about $500.00.

The next thing we did was have an hour consultation with the nurse at the doctor’s office. This person goes through all the drugs, when to take and how to administer. There is so much information it is very overwhelming. You need to make sure you take a lot of notes. My problem was remembering what needle to use with what drug. I was lucky and Aaron seems to understand all of it so I counted on him to figure it all out.

I first started taking birth control this is for the doctor to control my cycle. I took the birth control for 16 days. On the 7th day during the 16 days of birth control I had a blood test done. Then on the 16th day an ultrasound was done to make sure I did not have any cyst. Four days later I started the medications.

Finally we start the fertility medication and this is the list in order of what I had to take and when. Each thing had to be taken at certain times of the day. So it wasn’t as simple as taken everything first thing in the morning and be done.



Pregnancy test was negative and to top it all off insurance denied the claim. The insurance company said that the test was denied because they do not cover expenses related to the diagnosis and/or treatment of infertility or fertilization procedures. The cost to take the test was $588.73 I am in the process of appealing this claim. A pregnancy test has nothing to do with the reason of denial.

I don't want to hear about it

I was watching the news over the weekend and the host’s of the show were getting ready to interview a mother of two that wrote a book “40 reason not to have children”. It really rubs me the wrong way. I didn’t stay on the channel to watch the actually interview because of my disgust with her. I guess I shouldn’t judge since I didn’t see what it was actually about but I really don’t care.

I wish there were more stories out there about infertility and all the emotions involved. I want real stories about what it is really like. I want more information to show people what a large percentage of families are going through with infertility. Needless to say I will not be buying her book.

It is a wild kingdom at our house

One morning around 4 or 5 am I was going to the front door to let the dogs out. I didn’t have any lights on and I wasn’t completely awake yet but I did feel something fly across my head. So then I was awake trying to figure out what the heck just flew over me.

I heard flapping noisy and then I saw something flying around the ceiling of the dining room. It was going around and around. So by now I am a little freaked out. I turn on the lights in the dining room trying to figure it all out and I open the storm door to see if it will fly out. Of course is would not instead, it went into the kitchen. I go and wake up Aaron to tell him I think there is a bird in the house. He gets out of bed and goes through the entire house and he doesn’t see or hear anything. So he thinks that I imagine it and was sleep walking. I wasn’t but I couldn’t prove anything. So I got ready and went to work. A few hours later I get a call from Aaron. He found the “bird” that was in the house but it wasn’t a bird. It was a bat and he found it in the bathroom trash can. Here is a picture of the bat in our bathroom trash can.

In Memory

One year ago today was the last time that we seen Kella. It was a sad day when both the dogs went on a journey and only one came back. Keena was so sad. I think if Keena could talk she would be able to tell us what happen to her sister.

We miss Kella but we are so happy that Sadie came into our life. Keena and Sadie are very close now.

Here is a picture of Keena and Kella when they were puppies. (Keena - blue) (Kella- red)

Busy Bee

I haven't been posting much the last couple of weeks. I have been very busy at work because we have a conference that I help set up every year. So by the time I get home and cook, clean, etc. I don't feel like getting on the computer I just want to sit and relax and enjoy some TV.

I did get a great compliment today. An email was sent from the person who organizes the conference at work and she told my supervisors what a great job I am doing. That made me feel good.

Hope everyone out there is doing great. Take care and I will post more soon!

Aaron's Birthday

Today is Aaron's birthday. Once again due to the fact that we spent so much money on the infertility treatment we try and get small gifts for birthdays and holidays for each other. The gift of a child would have been the greatest gift to the both of us. So we are not doing much on his birthday. The weather out today is cloudy and rainy so we are staying in.

Sadie and her word of the day

Our Date

I finally have my pictures from King’s Island. Yes I realize it took me long enough.

We decided at the last minute to take this 2 hour drive to Ohio. Due to the fact, that we have spent all our money on trying to have a baby we don’t get to go very many places or have a “vacation”. For the past 2 years we have been trying to plan this trip to King’s Island but our life roller coaster made it difficult to make plans. We were either poking me with fertility medication or waiting to see if we were pregnant.

We decided to wait and go off peak time. It was great there were no lines and we rode everything we wanted to twice.

We like roller coasters so we rode the old favorites which are the Beast and the Racer
. We also rode the Delirium
and the Drop Tower
.

It was a very pretty day not too hot but sunny. We decided to ride the log ride, so we thought we were riding the log ride, we seen the ride beside us so we went into the entrance that was called White Water Canyon. So we put 2 and 2 together, people on a log riding on water and then an entrance to a water ride.
Well, it wasn’t the simple little log ride where you get a little wet. Oh No, we got soaked. I was completely wet for about 11/2 hours and the water was cold.

You know how we try and eat pretty healthy but Kings Island was our exception. I enjoyed the very expensive and so greasy piece of pizza and a funnel cake. We didn’t go over board with the food but enjoyed every bit of it.

We stayed about 6 hours and that was plenty of time to do all we wanted to do. Aaron and I finally had a little date/vacation.

King's Island

My husband and I went to Kings Island yesterday. I didn't want to take the good camera just in case I dropped it on a roller coaster. I had to go old school and buy one of those throw away camera's. Which means now I have go to the store and get them developed. You don't realize how good you have it when you can just hook the camera up to your computer and have at it.

So as soon as I get my butt off the computer I will get my pictures ready to post.

We had a great time and I can't wait to post our trip.

Autumn Apple

Hope the scent brings you to the place of a cool fall breeze and the beauty of the colors from the trees leaves turning.

Cute

I wanted to share this really cute bridal shower invitation I made for a friend of mine. I enjoyed doing this for her and wanted to share.

Keena has the "Word of the Day"

Chaos that is all I need to say

Last night I was watching a TV show. I won't tell you who it was about but, I am sure I will give you enough hints and you will guess who I am talking about. I was just flipping through the TV channels looking for something to watch. Then there she was. The woman who has several, several, several children. Guess who it is yet? This woman has made the ones with real fertility problems look bad.

I could only stand about 10 - 15 minutes of the show because I was so angry at her. I don't want to judge but it is so hard not to. Someone abusing fertility treatment. I blame the doctor also for participating in this.

I wanted to see if maybe those babies are at least treated well. It was chaos! In just the small amount of time I was watching one child (2 years old) was kicking, screaming, hitting his mom and the camera person and calling the mom names (words that a grown up shouldn't say to there mom).

Another child (he was 9 years old) was also throwing a tantrum hitting his mom. You could also clearly tell that he did not want the camera in his face.

The last thing I saw and then I had to turn it was when mom was holding one of the infants and she was so busying talking to the camera that she didn't notice the baby was spitting up.

I am not a mom but I can clearly see that this mom is way over her head. I feel sorry for those children. They don't deserve it.

Don't take citrus with grain

Edgar Cayce (the sleeping prophet)said it almost 100 years ago. Now science has finally caught up. Orange juice is highly acidic. Since it normally goes through your digestive system quickly, there are no ill effect. Bread(especially white bread, due to lack of bran)takes a long time to pass through your digestive system. Absorbent bread soaks up the highly acidic orange juice and holds it in place. This can cause minor to serious problems in the digestive system.

So here is another way to be healthier with very little sacrifice.

Fertility Clinics

I was watching the news over the weekend and was a little saddened. The story was a debate about fertility clinics and does there need to be more guidelines/rules/laws for fertility clinics? I am ok with the debate itself. The part that bothered me was one person who called people that had multiples through fertility treatments “mills”. It wasn't just once it was several times. If you feel that there needs to be more guidelines than that is your opinion and talk about what should be changed but don't stereotype someone who is seeking fertility treatments and call them a "mill". On the news this morning, I seen that a woman robbed a bank. Should we all be called bank robbers now??

In my experience, I have done fertility treatments (the procedures were all done by my personal prognosis and by all rules/laws/guidelines)with no success.

What's Cookin!

Since I don’t have a lot of adventures and excitement I will tell you about what I cooked this weekend.

Saturday for breakfast it was blueberry/banana muffins. They were so yummy I made another batch Sunday afternoon. I have noticed that on recipes (like muffins) they say to freeze them. In the Kriech household no need to freeze. They disappear very quickly! Just to make sure you all know we don’t eat them all ourselves. We packed a few up for some family members to enjoy.

On Sunday I made some plantain chips. I cut the plantain up and fried them in some extra virgin olive oil and then put some sea salt on them. Delicious!

I am always looking for new ideas and recipes to make. If you have a recipe you love let me know I would love to try it. I make a lot of things from scratch so that I know exactly what is going into my food.

It's Friday!

On Friday mornings I like to treat myself to Chick-fil-A. If you haven’t had there chicken mini’s you are missing out! You get this little sweet piece of bread inside is your chicken nugget. Then I get a small cup of fruit. Their fruit is so fresh and last I love their unsweetened brewed tea. So now you know what I eat almost every Friday morning.

I am looking forward to Sunday night when Season 3 Premieres of Mad Men on AMC.

I was watching us on a Realty TV show

The other day I was watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels (Please no comment on what I was watching!!) Anyway, Gene’s schedule was completely open so he was bored. He asks Shannon (his wife/girlfriend) what she was doing and she said she was going to the grocery store. Gene asks if he could go. Shannon was hesitant but said ok. They both went to the store and Gene was driving Shannon crazy, he was telling her to make sure it doesn’t have high cholesterol in it and what the ingredients are in the bread etc. Then at home, Gene is going through some of his things and wakes his son up to talk about what he has found. After that Gene goes to the movies with his daughter and her friends and all through the movie he his talking asking why did they do that and on and on. I thought I was watching Aaron and me.
As you read through my blog you see that we both are very conscious about what is in our food (even though Aaron knows so much more than I do about ingredients in our food), I like grocery shopping on my own and how the scene was portrayed, so does Shannon (I was feeling her pain lol). What you don’t know is that Aaron does the same thing Gene does at the movies. We will be watching a show or movie and Aaron will say that’s not real or why are they doing that etc.

But all laughter aside, I love Aaron dearly he truly wants what is best for the both of us.

The Fertility Advocate

The Fertility Advocate

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Plastic

BPA or Bisphenol A is a plastic used to line food cans and make bottles like baby bottles and water bottles. BPA has been linked to cancer and birth defects in female and male reproductive systems. This toxic poison is found on over 100 types of cans of vegetables, soup, fruit and infant formula.

One study found that in 1 out of 3 cans of infant formula, only one serving was enough to give a person a dose of over 200 times the government’s standard for safe-level exposure. Currently there are no government regulations on amount of BPA allowed in our food!

95% of people tested in the US have a dangerous level of BPA in their systems.

If the recycle symbol on the bottom of your container has a #7, it most likely contains BPA

The weekend

This weekend was uneventful. Friday afternoon is clean house day. Saturday was grocery day. I made tacos for lunch on Saturday and it was for dinner and lunch on Sunday also since there was a lot of it.

Sunday morning I made pancakes with blueberries from scratch. Making pancakes from scratch doesn’t take much time maybe about 5 extra minutes from making it from a box. I make pancakes that have whole wheat flour, oats and wheat germ. You can say they are healthy pancakes unlike the kind you get out of a box. I also made brownies with icing from scratch and I always use whole wheat flour instead of white when baking.

Your very thoughful!

I want to thank everyone for checking on Aaron after the incident. Aaron removed his stitches on Wednesday and by the weekend it just looks like a small bump and scab on his head.
I thought about taking pictures of his head but did not know if anyone would want to see it, now I wish I would have. It is amazing how quickly it has healed.

Do you have a comment?

If you have a comment, question or story and you feel uncomfortable about writing it on my blog you can always email me. I would try and comment on what you say on my blog if that is ok with you. I would not give out your name or any info that you said was not ok.

Is it the hormones?

I think like any medications, fertility medications affect people in different ways. I noticed for me were weight gain and my hair was growing. The other thing like emotions I guess it depends on several things, was it the medication that made me more emotional or was it the fact that I am going through fertility treatments to get pregnant and there is no guarantees that any of this will work. Was it the constant thinking about it or was it seeing pregnant women every time you turned around (I am exaggerating) but that is what it felt like. The best thing I can suggest is to find a friend/family member that can support you and listen to you. Think positive! even though it is hard when you don’t want to get your hopes up just in case it fails. If you feel sad, cry; if you are angry, talk about it; if you are excited about it, share it with others. There is no one that should tell you how you should feel.

Just a small difference in the price

The cost can blow you away. The first thing was the ultrasounds. As you read in my last post I had a total of 4 of them. 1st one was when they found the cyst, 2nd to see if the cyst decreased, 3rd to see the progress of the follicles and 4th to see the progress of the follicles again. My insurance will not cover since this was part of the fertility process. I don’t know the exact amount that all these ended up being but I just want you to know how many ultrasounds you may need and each one will cost hundreds of dollars.

The drugs, Femara and the Noveral was not pricey but the Follistim was another story. This is where research should have been done on my part to find the best price with a reputable pharmacy. The first time I ordered my prescription of Follistim I just went to my local pharmacy it was a drug that had to be ordered, so I called the next day to see if the drug was in and ask them how much it was. I was told it was $9.00. I questioned it and they said yes that was correct. I went to pick up my prescription and was getting out a $10.00 bill the cashier said that price is not correct. I thought ok maybe a little more but no the cost was $843.00. I freaked out! The pharmacy made a mistake so they charged me for their cost only. It was still $800.00.

The next surprise was when I got home to see how to use the Follistim. I had no needle to inject this drug. I called the pharmacy and they said I didn’t order one. Well if I knew that I needed to order one I guess I would have! Or maybe not maybe I should just try and drink it (LOL). I ended up going to my doctor to get what they call the Follistim pen. This is what you need to inject the drug. Needless to say make sure you know what all is needed to administer.

The other cost would involve, the 2 blood draws, the collection and washing of the sperm and last the nurse inserting the sperm into my uterus.

Artificial insemination is less expensive than invitro and that is why we chose this option first hoping for a precious little baby.

The next Dr. Visit

It was a month later and I had to go to the doctor's office to see if the cyst was gone. The baseline ultrasound was done and the cyst was still there but it had decreased in size. The doctor said it was small enough to start the IUI process. The process is done by days and day 1 is the first full day of flow. On day 1 I started taking an oral medication called Femera I took it for 5 days 2 times a day.
On day 3 I started taking an injectble medication Follistim (Follistim is used to stimulate a follicle to develop and mature) I had to take the Follistim until day 9 and then I went to the doctor's office to do another ultrasound. The ultrasound would be to check to see how many follicles I have and the size of them. The follicles holds the mature egg. The ultrasound showed that there were 9 follicles but none of them were the size they needed to be. I continued to take the Follistim for 2 more days. I went back to the doctor for another ultrasound and a blood draw. At this time the ultrasound only showed 8 follicles and only 4 of them were a mature size. The blood draw is to check my FSH level. Day 13 I did another injection called Novarel (is used to cause ovulation). Day 15 is when the insemination is going to be done my husband and I both went into the office. They collect his sperm and then the sperm is washed (Sperm washing separates sperm cells from a man’s semen, helping to get rid of dead or slow-moving sperm as well as additional chemicals that may impair fertilization). This process of washing takes about an hour. Now it is my turn the sperm is placed directly into my uterus by a flexible catheter. This only take a few minutes for 20 more minutes I lay there with my hips elevated looking at the fertility bunny on the ceiling. We wait for 2 weeks and take a pregnancy test. The test was negative.Tomorrow I am going to explain the cost of this entire procedure.

How about a small giveaway??

I want to thank everyone for visiting my site.

I would like everyone that visits my site starting Tuesday, August 4, 2009 until Sunday, August 9, 2009 make a comment on any of my posts. For each comment made I will put your name in a bowl. Then on Monday morning I will draw a name. So I bet you are wondering what the prize will be. I have a couple of choices.

The first choice is 1 wallflowers pluggable home fragrance diffuser set (scents are Autumn Apple, Fresh Linen or Cinnamon Stick)or I have deep cleansing hand soap (I have several scents so I won't list them all). These items are from Bath & Body Works.

I will only be able to ship within the United States.

Just in case you are wondering WHY?

If you might be wondering why I am writing this blog. There are several reasons for this.

My first reason is to find others in my same situation and to see the process in which they were able to conceive or if not how to deal with it.

I want the support of my friends to help them understand what I am going through. I am not trying to get someone to feel sorry for me but to understand what infertility is.

Infertility is real and not just a feeling. Some may say "just get over it" or "Why don't you just adopt". Those words can be very hurtful when someone is trying to conceive a child of their own. There are many reasons why I feel the way I do and why I have taken certain steps to achieve a child of my own. I will take the time to help someone understand or for those who do understand I just want to say thank you.

I also want to explain to all readers what all can be involved when trying to conceive.

We all go through struggles in life and have to take each challenge and make the best of it. This is my way of making the best out of a devastating situation. I am not saying my struggle with infertility is the worse problem someone could have believe me I have been blessed with so much and I am very grateful for my family and friends and the help that God has given me through this time.

The last thing I want to say if my miracle does happen in the future I want everyone to know I will never forget how this made me feel and will always be there for anyone going through infertility.

It was a beautiful Friday afternoon and then the splitting maul happened!

Aaron and I were working in the yard on Friday. We have a tree stump that keeps sprouting up leaves from the roots in the ground. When it all sprouts out it is an eye sore. Aaron wanted to make sure we were able to kill this so that we do not have to continue to cut the leaves up so he wanted to take a splitting maul to be able to get the stump killer in all the roots growing out. Aaron started splitting it up. All of a sudden the splitting maul bounced off one of the roots and the maul hit Aaron in the head. I didn't know what just happened. All I seen was Aaron bent over. I thought this thing hit him in the eye but he was still standing but bent over. All I said was Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. Then Aaron said I am bleeding go get me a cold wet cloth. I gave him the wet cloth and then he came inside. I was able to see his head and still couldn't tell what was hit on his head there was so much bleeding. Aaron was able to get the bleeding to almost stop. We then went to the immediate care center. Aaron had to get 12 stitches in his head. The doctor said that he did chip his skull but nothing was fractured.

If you do not know what a splitting maul is I have a picture of one and the stump.

The First Visit

The first visit with the fertility doctor we talked about my husband and my medical history. The doctor went over everything and told us that we have unexplained infertility because he did not see any reason why we haven’t conceived.

The doctor recommends intrauterine insemination (IUI), which is artificial insemination (I will use the abbreviations IUI when I talk about this in the future). This procedure consists of collecting sperm from my husband and then the nurse placing the sperm into my uterus. This gives the sperm a head start but it still seeks out the egg on its own.
IUI is often selected for couples who have been trying to conceive for at least a year but have no reasons for their infertility. IUI is also a less expense way of trying to conceive.
I was to call the doctors office on the first day of my menstrual cycle. I called the office and an appointment was made to come into the office for a vaginal ultrasound. A cyst was found on one of my ovaries so I ended up having to take birth control for one month which cancelled starting the IUI process. I then will call the office next month on the first day of my cycle to see if the cyst had vanished.

White flour what is so bad about that??

When flour is bleached (which is a bleaching agent used to make it white)several nutrients are being removed from the grain. So you think that this wouldn't be that bad yes it is. After, the removal of the wheat germ and other nutrients of the grain all you have left are carbohydrate and then they will add back into the flour supplementary vitamins and minerals. Those items added back into the flour are most likely not in a digestible form. What to look for is nothing else but 100% whole wheat. You can find more information about white flour on Google search. Just go to the top right of my page and Google search for White Flour.

Did you know?

You can comment on each of my posts. Just go to the post you want to comment on and click on comments. I would be grateful for any comments you may have.

Ingredients in our food!

Another thing that my husband and I have been trying to do is to watch what we eat. It may be too late for eating right to help in the fertility department for us but it is never to late to start eating right to live a longer healthy life. I hope everyone will read this and maybe this will help in the health of your family.

We try to eat healthy without going too far out of our way. One way of doing this is staying away from High Fructose Corn Syrup. HFCS is found in many foods in most cupboards. Soda pop, ketchup, salad dressing, and white bread are just a few.
HFCS causes your body to crave more food and store more fat. Most people want to avoid both of these effects as much as possible. It has been proven to cause Type II diabetes in mice. It causes an insulin spike and leads to insulin resistance. This is a poison that has both short and long term effects.
It is not hard to find salad dressings and bread with no HFCS. You just have to read some labels. We have been so happy with the flavors of the higher quality and more healthy foods we have been finding at our regular grocery store. It’s a great, cheap, way to be healthier, lose weight, and avoid diabetes with no sacrifice.

McCormick's Creek State Park

Today we all packed up and drove to Spencer, Indiana, which is about an hour or so away from home. We wanted to do a trail to the caves unfortunately, the caves were closed. We were able to go into the creek at the falls. Here is a video of Sadie and Keena playing in the creek.
By the way, if you didn't notice on the video Sadie sometimes is in her own little world but we love her!

The Costs

Going through infertility can get very expensive. Many insurance companies do not cover this. My insurance does not. My recommendation is to talk to your insurance company and find out on each thing what is covered and what is not. For instance, I thought a semen analysis would be covered but it was not. There will be many other things throughout this journey that I could have done a better job into check costs and coverage. I am addressing this to those of you just starting out so you don't make the same mistakes as I have. I have paid too much for a prescription that I should have checked around to all my local pharmacies instead of just going to the one I always went to. I recommend that you research just how much each thing is going to cost and find out the best way to plan for this.
Infertility is very emotionally anyway and then facing the expense can be difficult. This can cause tremendous stress on a couple.

Semen analysis

Another step into infertility is for my husband to do a semen analysis. This tested his Sperm count (number of sperm), motility (percentage of living sperm), and morphology (normal shape of the sperm). The analysis showed everything was good. However, he was a little low on his FSH level in which he was prescribed Clomid to increase it.

Keena's Birthday

Yesterday was Keena's birthday. She is 3 years old. Here is a picture of the birthday girl! I also just had to show a picture of Keena sleeping. She is so funny!

The Girls!

You will soon see that I talk a lot about my 2 dogs. Keena and Sadie. So here is a clip of them. To set this up we decided to get the dogs a baby pool to play in, cool off and have fun! Unfortunately they just look at the pool and probably are wondering what is this? To help them out I put them in the pool thinking this will teach them what they should do and eventually they would gt in on their own. Of course, they were so not interested in that. So we decided to put some toys in the pool and see what would happen. This is a good video of what Sadie does in the pool.

There are many stories in the Bible about infertility here is one of them

~Abraham and Sarah had given up hope of ever having their own children when God gave Abraham the promise that he and Sarah would have a son whose offspring would be greater than the stars in the sky. Sarah laughed at the promise of God since she was well past the child-bearing years, but God fulfilled his promise with the birth of Isaac. (You can read more about the story in Genesis 16-21.)

Explaining the BBT Chart

The idea behind taking your temperature is to find out when your temperature spikes. When it spikes that means you should be ovulating.
I have heard so many times that I need to count from the day I start 14 days and that is when I am ovulating. Well that is true for some people but not for all. This idea is possibly true if you have the "normal" 28 day cycle but it is not the rule for everyone.

If you look at the examples of my charts you see that I do not have a "normal" 28 day cycle.

So if you refer to my charts below (the 1st month)(double click the chart to get a better view) you will see that my temperature spikes at day 19 and another spike at day 25. So ovulation most likely occurred around one of those days.

Taking your BBT is not a simple thing. You need to buy a BBT Thermometer (which are not expense) they just have the .10 degrees registered on the display and you need that to really understand and see the small changes but mean a lot when charting. You also need to take your temperature every morning at the same time. You need to have the thermometer right next to you. You do not want to get up or get a drink or anything like that or your charting will be off. You also need to get at least 6 hours of undisturbed sleep right before you take your temperature to accurately chart. This was very difficult for me. I wake up several times through the night and had a hard time getting that perfect reading. All I know is that I would try whatever I needed to, to accomplish my goal. In the end the goal of conception didn't work but I did learn so much about my BBT and I know that it did help me in other ways learn about how my body works.

What do we do now. I have tried the fertility pills and taking my temperature and the results did not achieve pregnancy.The next step would be to go see a specialists.

BBT (Basal Body Temperature)

I did the Basal Body Temperature Chart (BBTC) to see when I was ovulating. I used the chart for 6 month prior to the Clomid.

For the next 5 months while on Clomid I also used the BBTC. You can see what my chart looked like for 4 months of being on the Clomid.

Kudos!

I want to say thanks to a few people.

First thing I needed to do to create this blog was to come up with a name and logo you might say. I wrote down a list of words that pertain to what I wanted to talk about. For example, infertility, sperm, eggs, Petri dish, fertility treatments etc. I looked at my list for weeks and really couldn't decide what it would be. I ask some of my friends to see what ideas they could come up with. So I want to thank Jayne for coming up with Why can't we be friends.

I also need to thank my husband for drawing the picture for me. I searched for just the right picture of a sperm and egg and could not find one. So Aaron was able to draw the picture and color it for me.

Last but certainly not least I need to thank Wendy! Where do I start, She has done so much to help me get started. There were a lot of computer lingo I just am not familiar with and she set things up for me. If you seen my blog a few days ago and now you see that it has changes it is due to the gracious help of her.

Thank you all for taking your time to help me. I appreciate it so much!!

Other things

As you can see am not just talking about infertility. I do enjoy other things and my life doesn't revolve around it. Of course a lot of days it does, just because you can't just forget about it. It is always there. I will continue my journey through all the fertility treatments and throw in a few other things.

The Things we find in the yard!

I have been wanting to send this video out because I think it is funny. A while back when there was a lot of rain and flooding in our city my husband caught a fish in our backyard. Here is the video of the fish.

My pipes are clear but no baby

Tried to conceive thinking that the surgery might help but that didn't help conception but it was a start to finding out why we can't get pregnant.

The doctor suggested I start taking Clomid. This is an oral tablet to help ovulation. I started at a low dosage for 5 days.

If I started my menstrual cycle then I would call the doctor and I would go see him and he would increased the dosage each month that I didn't conceive. I took Clomid for 5 months. Which means that form of fertility treatment didn't work for me.

Has anyone else had a Laparoscopy or used Clomid and was able to conceive?

My EYE My EYE

This morning I woke up and my eye felt like I had been hit. I looked in the mirror and my eye was very bloodshot. It looks like I had a rough night. So I went home early from work to get some eye drops since everyone at work was afraid to be around me thinking I might have pink eye. So I came home and cleaned my house.

I Wonder if She Remembers?

A friend of mine when we were in our 20's worked together. Sometimes babies would be in the office. I would be the one to hold the babies because my friend was afraid of them. She thought she might break them. Today she has 1+++ kids and is a great person and mom and I hope one day I can follow in her footsteps.

It is really strange how life works out. I never thought I would be writing about infertility. I just thought when I was ready for kids it would happen. I know that God will guide me through my struggles in his own way.

My friend do you know who you are??

Surgery

After talking to my Physician and doing an exam there were findings of endometriosis. So my physician wanted to do a laparoscopy (visual examination of the inside of the abdomen ) and electrocautery (burn off) of endometriosis. So breaking this down basically it means. He went in to make sure my tubes were clear (which they were) and examined the extent of endometrosis. I had a very mild case of it. This procedure sometimes helps in conception.

It's not as easy as everyone said it would be!

Today I will be posting my first message.

I am wanting to talk about infertility. This is the first part of my journey and will post what steps I have taken in the past to conceive. So far nothing has worked. I realize that I have waited longer than most to start trying so I knew age would become a factor. When you are my age and have never conceived you would speak to a doctor about infertility after trying for 6 months. So I went to the Dr. to discuss steps to becoming pregnant.